From Refinery29, 3/2019
In the early 2000s, Wade Robson was arguably one of the most successful choreographers in the industry, having created iconic moves for Britney Spears and ‘NSYNC, starred in the latter’s HBO concert special, headlined his own MTV show, and won Emmys for segments on So You Think You Can Dance. Now that Leaving Neverland is giving Robson a very different kind of notability, many must wonder where he’s been in recent years, and what Robson is doing with his career in 2019.
The answer to that is intricately tangled up in the allegations Robson makes in the documentary — that Michael Jackson sexually abused him as a child, but that he did not recognize it as abuse until 2012. (When he was alive, Jackson repeatedly denied ever abusing children and now, his Family vehemently denies Robson and James Safechuck’s claims, as seen in Leaving Neverland.) Not so coincidentally, that’s right around the time Robson left the entertainment industry and dance for what would become a five-year hiatus.
Quitting Step Up 4 and Cirque du Soleil
In 2011 Robson began dropping out of projects. Right after the birth of his son in late 2010, he was supposed to begin directing his first film, the fourth Step Up movie. He was also set to be the choreographer of the Michael Jackson-themed Cirque du Soleil show in Las Vegas. But Robson says he began experiencing a mental breakdown and pulled out of those projects. On his blog, Robson describes how he went to therapy to recover, though still hadn’t yet come to terms with his childhood experiences when he agreed again to choreograph the Cirque du Soleil project. As he dove back into his work, he says he began to break down again, and this time he was plagued with visions of his own baby boy going through what he allegedly did with Jackson. He says he withdrew from the project again, and went back to therapy.
Michael Jackson’s estate has alleged that Robson only made his accusations against Jackson because he was fired from the Cirque show and needed the money.
“It’s just completely inaccurate,” Robson told Vanity Fair of the family’s accusation. “I was hired three times for that show because it kept taking different iterations. And the third time was just preceding my second nervous breakdown. I was in between nervous breakdowns. So the third time, as I was crumbling and falling apart, I removed myself from the project.”
Robson’s Move to Maui In 2013
Once he was finally able to tell wife Amanda what was wrong, they decided to move with their son Koa to her hometown of Maui for him to recover. That meant leaving his career behind.
“Dance and film all got painted black for me, because it was all so connected with Michael,” Robson told the Los Angeles Times. “So how could I keep doing any of that stuff ever again? So yeah, I quit all of it and I tried to bury it all alive and I swore I’d never dance or make music or make films ever again. I threw a smoke bomb and moved to Hawaii. ‘Agents, managers, don’t call me. I’m done.’ ”
They moved in 2013, the same year Robson also took Jackson’s estate, MJJ Productions and MJJ Ventures to court, saying the latter companies facilitated his abuse. While in Hawaii, Robson went to therapy, began Vedic meditation, and eventually began running a support group for adult victims of child abuse.
Returning to Dance In 2017
“I could not fathom ever dancing again,” Robson says in his blog of his hiatus. “Then, slowly, a timid curiosity began to arise. A few times, when Dance came knocking, I would try something such as dance in my living room, at a party, or take a dance class. But these experiments would mostly end with me running in the other direction again, fast: still too much pain.”
But in the spring of 2017, he taught a single dance class and felt that it might be possible to do more. He turned that class into a weekly occurrence.
“I’d done enough internal work and done enough pulling these things apart—separating him from art in my life and dance in my life—somehow dance flew back into my heart and I started trying to approach it differently, being more playful and not so outcome-oriented, which is so much of the seriousness that [Jackson] put into me,” Robson told VF of his return to dance.
In 2018, Robson started to travel and teach master classes. At The Main Event in New York City, organized by fellow SYTYCD choreographer Brian Friedman, Robson spoke to students about using their painful experiences to grow.
“Everything that happens to us is for the sake of our own evolution,” Robson says in a video clip from the class.
Since 2018, Robson has also been a teacher at JUMP, a 30-city dance convention tour. “His classes are now a new kind of visceral experience, colored by Eclectic Grooves, Yoga and real talk,” says his faculty bio for the tour.
Continuing Recovery Into 2019
In the midst of this return to dancing comes the publicity blitz of Leaving Neverland, complete with further attacks from Jackson’s estate and fervently defensive fans. It’s clear this issue isn’t going away soon for Robson. In January, his lawyer, Vince Finaldi, said that because his suit against Jackson was dismissed only on technical grounds in 2015 and 2017, they were still planning to appeal.
Meanwhile, Wade and Amanda Robson established a fund through the Hawaii Community Foundation that plans to give grants to organizations helping victims of child abuse.
“I can’t change what happened to me,” Robson told TMZ in January, “but what I can do now is try to make a small impact on what happens to others.”
If you have experienced sexual violence and are in need of crisis support, please call the RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
